Types

According to the Hazan-Shaver theory of attachment, there are three fundamental types of personalities in relationships: >Secure lovers: People who are comfortable with sharing personal space and letting down their guard with those they want to share their lives with; >Avoidant lovers: People who find it hard to be close to others and hardly allow themselves to depend on others; and >Anxious-ambivalent lovers: People who find that their potential lovers are not as deeply involved as they are in a relationship, and often worry about losing their partners and doubting the strength of their lover's affection. These personalities can be found in both sexes. Very clearly, a person with an avoidant personality should never get together with someone of an anxious-ambivalent inclination because progress can never be made in this relationship. An avoidant lover may be better off with another avoidant person as both would be able to accept each other's idiosyncrasies better.

I wld say that a relationship between 2 secure lovers is the ideal, and that I'll want for it to be that way.
But here's a thought:
Suppose I'm a secure lover and I hook up with an avoidant personality, isn't it just a matter of time before I inevitably start to feel like I'm giving more?
And when that happens, doesn't it then make me more of the anxious-ambivalent type really?
So perhaps I've just always been deluded abt my true nature.

Thus I ask: what exactly characterised the behavior of a genuinely secure lover (as opposed to a poser from the Anxious-ambivalent cat) in the above-mentioned scenerio?